Books I Love

My Passion for Books

One of the common themes you find in happiness research is the link between happiness and passion. To be happy we need to engage in activities that we are passionate about. If you Google ‘passion and happiness’ the first link is to Gretchen Rubin's blog. I am a fan of Gretchen’s work and have responded to the offer on her website to receive her comic that outlines her “Quest for Passion”. You see, Gretchen was worried that she didn’t know what she was passionate about, but on her quest she realized that she had always known; she was passionate about books. She loves reading them, writing them, creating them, taking notes about them, and talking about them. To say that resonated with me was an understatement! I love books. Reading has always been my passion and most of my books are filled with Post-It notes! I become most alive when talking about books. I have a hard time conversing with a friend without talking about books. 

I have always wanted to blog about books, but I really didn’t know from what angle. But with some wisdom from Skye, I figured it out. Starting today, one of the things I am going to blog about is books. I am not going to review books; I am going to tell you about the many books that have changed my life and how they changed it. I will give links to buy the book – not because that benefits me, but because you might be interested. And where I can, I will link to free chapters so you can read those to see if you like the book. And now all I have to do is figure out where to start!!!

 

Reading "Quiet" Should Be Mandatory

I first heard about the book "Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain via Twitter. Apparently a lot of the people I admire are introverts too. I say 'too' because I am an introvert. It was apparent when I was a kid; I was in trouble a lot because I read 'too much' and didn't spend 'enough' time with friends.

Reading Quiet was extremely validating for me and not just because of my childhood experience. The book is research based and addresses many of the popularly held notions that have never rung true for me. For example, I've often thought that our society has a mistaken idea that leaders need to be charismatic extroverts and sure enough, the book addresses that myth (The Myth of Charismatic Leadership). In fact introverts are uniquely good at leading in some situations, just as extroverts are good at leading in others. The book also addresses "When Collaboration Kills Creativity" and validates my dislike of open offices (they reduce productivity) and affirms that brainstorming in groups doesn't work. It addresses the potential pitfalls that can derail the extroverted leader.

Those examples are important but they aren't why I think this book should be required reading particularly for managers, parents, coaches, and teachers. It should be required reading because I don't care who you are and what you do in life - you are surrounded by both extroverts and introverts. In North America we live in a Culture of Personality and seem to have decided that introverts are less valuable. In the workplace, the school system, and in our personal relationships we try to make introverts into extroverts. Introverts have been given the impression that they are 'wrong' and need to change. Read the book and you will see that you can't do that, and that both have value.

I also finally have an explanation for something that has always puzzled me. I am a true introvert but I ran my own company for six years (networking needed to get business to survive) and one of my roles during that time was in the music industry as a manager (extroversion mandatory). I also love to public speak. Explanation provided! All of those things were part of pseudo-extroversion which allowed me to act out of character in the service of 'core personal projects'. Introverts can act like extroverts for the sake of work we consider important, people we love, or things we value highly. I liked the freedom of self-employment not to mention it fit with my short attention span, so I could do what I needed to do to pursue what I loved. But the thing I didn't do (and this is the most valuable advice in the book for introverts like me) was ensure that I looked after my true self. I was acting out of character for too long and I didn't schedule enough 'restorative niches'.

Introverts are everywhere. They are (or will be) your kids, your spouse, your friends, your co-workers, or your teammates. The advice in this book in Part Four "How to Love, How to Work" may make a huge difference in your life whether you are an introvert or extrovert. For me, learning about pseudo-extroversion and restorative niches has helped me understand what I need to do next time I am making the choice to be an extrovert. And when I see people in the limelight who are obviously introverts - in professional sports, the arts, business or politics - I want to take them aside and share with them how to survive being out of character!

The above and more is what I got out of the book; hopefully you find something that helps you. It is really easy to read and is available as hardcover, audio book and ebook from all major booksellers.   

The Amazing Benjamin Zander

I first 'met' Benjamin Zander via his TED talk - in fact it was the first one I watched. His enthusiasm and passion for life come through very clearly  in that TED talk and so I read his book. Technically it is not his book although I think most people refer to it that way. "The Art of Possibility" is written by Rosamund Stone Zander (his wife) and Benjamin Zander (in much smaller font). I have visions of Roz having the discipline to write the book while Ben was wandering around talking in a very exaggerated dramatic fashion. Ben is a composer, Philharmonic conductor, and music teacher. Roz is an executive coach and family systems therapist.

The Art of Possibility is a paradigm shifting book. From the first chapter "Our premise is that many of the circumstances that seem to block us in our daily lives may only appear to do so based on a framework of assumptions we carry with us. Draw a different frame around the same set of circumstances and new pathways come into view". It also promises that "every chapter of the book presents a different facet of this approach and describes a new practice for bringing possibility to life".  And it does. 

The book starts with the premise that "It's All Invented" which explains that we perceive the world through the lens of preconceived notions. That's not new - I think most of us have heard that before. What's different about this book is that the rest of the book is built around how NOT to stay within those preconceived notions. There are notes in some of the chapters on "The Practice." Here's the suggestions for "It's All Invented". 

Ask yourself this question:

• What assumption am I making, that I am not aware that I am making, that gives me what I see?

And when you ave an answer to that, ask:

• What might I now invent, that I haven't yet invented, that would give me other choices?

From there, as it says, we can move into inventing a new universe to live in. My favorite lesson that follows is "Giving an A". They relate a story about Ben's  students not reaching their potential as performers because they feared judgement (marks). In school, we learn that we get A's and B's and sometimes there are only so many of each. Mistakes are failure. Ben found that his students were so anxious about the measurement of their performance that they would be reluctant to take risks while playing. He and Roz discussed the problem and decided that abolishing grades altogether would only make matters worse. Instead they came up with the concept that each student would be given an A and would know that on the first day. The only requirement was that at the beginning of the semester the student wrote a letter that begins "Dear Mr Zander, I got my A because ..." and the students would detail what they had done to get that A. The letter had to be written in the past tense and detail all the milestones reached and insights acquired. What it did was remove the 'external judgement' factor and allowed the students to focus on growth. As Ben says - the teaching becomes amazing because who wouldn't want to teach a room full of 'A' students? The students feel the same - they come to learn; not to be judged. It allows them to become performers and to interpret music instead of trying to get it 'right'. What this concept does is create an environment where the student and teacher work together to produce an outcome rather than holding the student up to standards and judging. It does not mean that students do not have to learn and demonstrate their learning - they do. This practice recognizes that people want to do well and to achieve - otherwise - why are they there in the class (or in the job)?

This concept can profoundly shift your perspective on work, relationships, and life in general. We need to recognize how often we allow the fear of the judgement of others or the fear of failure to get in our way of living. We need to recognize that judging students or children can take away their joy in learning. The labels we take so seriously - 'A', 'B', '85%',' 65%',  'good', 'bad' are simply invented. Once we realize that and realize that learning and accomplishment and our own standards are what matters - then we can truly live what we want to live.

Think about your life and the anxiety that you might feel trying to meet someone's expectations (real expectations or your perception of their expectations) for you - the feeling that you will be graded. What if instead of looking to others for approval - you decided what you needed to do or to accomplish to feel successful, or to simply meet your own expectations. (In some cases it makes sense to talk it over with the other person but not always). What do you need to do to get an A? Write it out. Commit to it - now go do it!

Ben's book is available at Chapters and Amazon (look for it in the business books).

The Book Title Intrigued Me ...

I don't really remember where I first saw a mention of "Marketing Lessons From The Grateful Dead" but I remember being intrigued by the title.  Not because I am a Dead fan - quite the opposite - don't think I could even name a song. However, I certainly know the name and that the band was around for a long time, and that it had very loyal fans. Some of the marketing and business blogs that I follow raved about the book, so I added it to the 'book list' but didn't do anything other than that.

I was catching up on Mitch Joel's podcasts one day at work and listened to his conversation with David Meerman Scott who is one of the authors of the book. It was a great conversation and it made me want to read the book right away. It is the most entertaining marketing book I have ever read. Not only an entertaining and enjoyable little book (literally it is little); it is a book that everyone who is in business should take the time to read. The sub-title says it all "What Every Business Can Learn From the Most Iconic Band in History." Having read it I can say that I agree - every business can learn something from the Dead.

The book is organized into three sections "the band", "the fans", and "the business", and each section has short chapters about something unique that the Grateful Dead did and then provides an example of a business doing that today. That structure is the strength of the book - it entertains you with a story and then shows the brilliance of that in action. The real value though is that each chapter then has a "Rock On" page that summarizes that lesson and provides a call to action - a specific call for you to do things differently in your business. This is not a theoretical book - it is a book that is designed to make you think differently and then act.

Throughout each chapter there are little orange boxes with a sentence or two that are key themes of that chapter. Some samples:

• "The Grateful Dead teaches us that our community defines who we are. Companies cannot force a mindset on their customers"
• "The Grateful Dead teaches us that ignoring conventional wisdom is the key to creating uncontested market spaces"
• "The Grateful Dead teaches us that we are all eccentric in some ways. Smart companies understand eccentricities and create a market from them"

If you want to improve your business, invest $25 and a few hours of your time and learn from the Grateful Dead.

Derek Sivers New Book - Business Wisdom In An Hour

Derek Sivers is brilliant. I often find myself talking about his latest blog entry, and his thoughts are often inspiration for my blog. Derek's book "Anything You Want - 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur" came out this week and it is outstanding. Anyone who manages people, all business owners, and all entrepreneurs will benefit from the wisdom that Derek shares. This is not an 'old school' business book that takes months to read and digest; it is short and readable. No need to give up hours of your life to learn from Derek - you just need an hour (less if you read quickly). If you would like a sampling of his wisdom, Derek has recorded some audio and video messages to go with the book, several of them are linked in this interview with Derek

Derek has a way with words that make it easy to remember the lessons he is sharing. One that I have written about before "No Yes. Hell Yeah or No" is expanded on in the book. That phrase can be a paradigm shift if you really let it impact your life (not just work life). Most of us complain that we are 'too busy' but we need to understand that we are the people who are creating that busyness. If you want more time in your life to do what is really important to you, then you need to learn to 'say yes less'. When new opportunities to tie up your schedule arrive, or when you look at how you are currently using your time; applying 'hell yeah or no' can change your life or your business. Saying no more often leaves you the room to fully apply yourself to the 'hell yeah's' in your life!

If you manage people the lessons on 'delegate, but don't abdicate', 'trust but verify'  and 'delegate or die' will be useful for you. The line between delegation and abdication gets blurred in organizations large and small, and it is essential that you ensure that the line is clear.

I really like the way Derek presents his perspective on our collective misunderstanding of the importance of persistence. “Success comes from persistently improving and inventing, not from persistently doing what’s not working." Think about that. We often blindly persist thinking we just need 'more time' or 'more effort' and we will achieve what we want. As he says, "if it's not a hit, switch" meaning that if you are not creating the success you want, then you need to make some changes; not simply do more of the same. For example if your product or service is not resonating (whether you measure by sales or by profit) then you need to tweak what you are offering. Doing more of the things that aren't working is not the solution. This does not mean give up - it means that you need to innovate and improve until you are achieving the success you want.

You aren't going to agree with everything Derek says, but I guarantee that you will find valuable information in this book!

How Starbucks Saved My Life

I knew nothing about Michael Gates Gill when I registered for a conference and saw him listed as the opening speaker. I was immediately intrigued by the name of his book "How Starbucks Saved My Life" so I Googled and found a little of his story, which is, as the subtitle of his book says, "A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else." Michael's story is actually a lot more than that. He did lead a charmed life by many standards. He was born into a fairly wealthy family, went to Yale as a legacy (no pesky things like good marks required), and got a job through Yale connections. Worked hard, lived well, etc. until he was 53 years old and was fired.

That firing was definitely the beginning of his journey - not the end. Through the ensuing 10 years after he was fired, Michael 'consulted' (but not too successfully), got divorced, found out he had a brain tumour (no health coverage), and hit rock bottom. Through a chance encounter at Starbucks (that feels very 'meant to be' to me), he ended up working there as a barista and it changed his life. He has an Afterword in his book now where he shares three lessons that he also shared to conclude his speech. They resonated with me so I thought I would share them here.

Sometimes in life you get stuck - you get in a box as Michael says. You have to realize that you can't think your way out of that box and you can't walk gently out of it. You have to Leap with Faith. The faith part is trusting that there is a solution and having faith that the angels of grace (as Michael calls them) will be there for you.

Look with respect at every individual and treat them with respect. As Michael told us - put down the burden of judgement. Enjoy the uniqueness of people and let them enrich your life. Michael illustrates this concept well in his book and in person but I think that the sentiment makes sense on its own. Judging impacts the judge as much as it does the person being judged. Don't surround yourself with people just like you. Invite a variety of people into your life - personal and professional.

Listen to your heart to find true happiness. He closed his speech with that and while it sounds trite, it is advice we all could heed. As he said "in the past I had assumed happiness from external markers instead of checking with myself". That is so true. We all need to learn to do that - check in with ourself and do what we love; not what we think will make us happy or what others tell us will make us happy.

If you get a chance to hear Michael speak - do it. He is a natural storyteller and very entertaining. In the meantime, pick up the book. It is entertaining and a very easy read.

The Success Principles

Jack Canfield is brilliant and I think that The Success Principles is his best book. I learned so many things from that book, but the most important is a lesson that we all need to learn.  What's the lesson? It is the first principle in the book.  Principle #1 is “Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life”. That principle starts by stating:  “One of the most pervasive myths in our culture today is that we are entitled to a great life – that somehow, somewhere, someone (certainly not us) is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time, and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. But the real truth – and the one lesson this whole book is based on – is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you”. 

Feel uncomfortable with that?  I did at one time because it is a very uncomfortable thing to realize. We don’t want to be 100% responsible for our lives because if we are, who do we “blame” if things aren’t exactly as we would like them to be? If I am responsible for my life; then the only person to blame is me, and I didn’t like that, but now I fully accept it and embrace it.

 

I can already hear you saying “yes, but …” and explaining why this isn’t true for you. If you are thinking “but it isn’t my fault because of (pick one) my parents, my family, my boss, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my husband, my wife, my kids, …” forget it!  Forget the “yes but …” because you are responsible for your life. As Jack says “everything you experience today is the result of choices you have made in the past” (paraphrasing the Buddhist "If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future, look into your present actions"). 

 

Jack presents the formula E+R=O.  Event plus Response equals Outcome.  We don’t choose the events in our life, but we all have 100% control of our response, and thus we control outcome.  If you don’t like your outcomes – change your response. Saying it another way – if you don’t like the output you are getting, then you have to change your inputs. You cannot “expect” the world to follow your plan for it. Change happens when you look inward not outward, and this applies to all aspects of your life. If you want to live a successful and fulfilling life, the first step is to accept the responsibility to create that life which is why it is the first principle in the book!

 

You can learn more about The Success Principles here and you can also download may free resources. The book is available pretty much everywhere!

The Wisdom of Marcus Buckingham

Marcus Buckingham has a number of books that focus on the theme of strengths and using your strengths in your life. His book “Now, Discover Your Strengths” (co-written with Donald O. Clifton) changed my life in a big way. I read it when I was facing a common problem that we often face. We all spend a lot of time fighting “should” – we feel we “should” do or should “want” things. I fight that all of the time – I “should” do this or that mostly because I “would be good at it.” It’s true – there are a lot of things that I (and you) could do because we would be good at them; but that’s not necessarily what we truly want. This is where Marcus Buckingham’s strength based approach is life changing. I had a paradigm shift when I read “Now, Discover Your Strengths” and realized that what he said is true. Our society accepts that the way to becoming strong is to work on your weaknesses. I’m sure you remember that from school – you were told to focus on the areas you were weak. At work – all of your development plans are probably about working on your weaknesses. As I read Buckingham, I realized that’s really dumb. Focusing on improving where you are weak just makes you not weak. It doesn’t make you excel. You need to focus on improving your strengths and learn to manage around your weaknesses. 

Here’s what I learned. In order to use and enhance your strengths you need to understand what Buckingham means by a strength. There are four components: something you have a natural talent for; that you can do well; that you can do well consistently; and that you enjoy doing. There’s the part that we seem to forget – enjoy doing. I’m not dumb, I know that there are going to be parts of anything I do that I will dislike, but true success and fulfillment comes to those who “put their strengths to work” and that means doing things that have all four elements.

 

This doesn't mean you don't need to work hard; quite the opposite. You need to work on your strengths and find ways to manage around your weaknesses - those two components lead to great success and being fulfilled. The biggest take-away from his work though is that if I hear myself saying 'I should'; then I treat that as a warning sign - in career and in the rest of my life. 

 

You can buy the book I referenced at Chapters here.  With the purchase of the book you get a web code that allows you to take a very detailed quiz.  From that quiz you will discover your strength themes. It is one of the most valuable things I ever did.  If reading the book is not your style, you can read more about Marcus's other books and programs on his website. 

Switch - What I Learned from the Heath Brothers

The Heath brothers have an easy to read, story oriented writing style that makes complicated (potentially boring) subjects fun to read about. Switch - How To Change Things When Change is Hard explains why it is difficult for us to make lasting changes in our personal lives and in the corporate world. 

I started reading Switch thinking that I knew a lot about change. Change involves knowing where you want to go (the vision), setting goals, and then being disciplined in taking steps every day. I wouldn't say those things aren't true, but what I learned from Switch is that change is more complex than that. 

When we fail to achieve our personal goals or things don't change at work when we implement change, we tend to judge the 'failure' as lack of commitment. What I learned from Switch is the role of emotion in change. We think change happens from "analyze-think-change". That is true for small incremental change. But trying to think your way through any bigger change is too hard. That's a fact backed up by research. Change comes from emotion - change happens from "see-feel-change" as the Heath's explain in this Fast Company article. You have to motivate the Elephant (engage emotion) as you can read about in the first chapter here. As it explains, to make change you need to direct the Rider, motivate the Elephant and shape the Path! The Heaths explain all of those things so well that they will become part of your vocabulary without you realizing it! 

The other thing that became overwhelmingly obvious as I went through the chapters, was that we often fail to think small enough. We don't describe the specific actions that will achieve change in enough detail. We think that we will know what to do, or that our staff at work will know what to do to enact the change we want to see. In fact, scripting change (at the personal or organizational level) is key. Tweak the environment so you are forced to change.  Shrink the change so that it is easy to do and do quickly. Decide what will happen that is different and explain it in detail. 

Switch is a book that is so full of practical, usable advice that there is no way to quickly explain everything I learned and everything that inspired me. All I can say is, if you want to make change in your life - personal or professional - pick up a copy.  You can buy the book at Chapters or Amazon

How "Delivering Happiness" Made Me Happy

It is no accident that the first book that I am going to write about is by someone who tells a story of profits, passion, and purpose which are three common themes in my reading choices. My influencers when it comes to books are usually online sources, and I had heard about "Delivering Happiness; A Path to Profits, Passion and Purpose" by Tony Hsieh (CEO of Zappos.com) from many sources. I finally picked up the book on Thursday and started reading it that night and finished it a few days later. It is a really easy read (Tony says that he wanted the writing to reflect how he talks) but it is also very inspiring and full of wisdom from an impassioned entrepreneur.

The story and the wisdom that Tony shared made me happy. Why? Partly because I love reading about the struggles behind "overnight success". Overnight success is seldom as overnight as people would like to believe, and is often preceded by failure (like the worm farm!) and major challenges. Tony shares some of the emails that he and others sent to staff when they faced major challenges such as cash flow shortages, staff layoffs, and distribution problems. One great line stands out "problems are just mile markers. Each one we pass means we've gotten better".

The chapters on the 10 core values of Zappos and the discussion of each value and how they commit to them and live them daily at Zappos are inspiring. Throughout my career I have observed the important relationship between a strong, positive corporate culture and success, but seldom have I seen it explained as clearly as Tony explains it. 

I loved the chapter at the end called "End Game" which is about goals, happiness, and life in general. In less than 20 pages, Tony imparts some powerful wisdom on what he has learned from happiness research and presents some simple and easy to understand happiness frameworks. It includes a Happiness Framework using Maslow's Hierarchy which made me extremely happy because I love Maslow!  

But most of all, reading this book made me happy because it validates what I firmly believe.  I believe that great companies know their 'why' and communicate it; great companies know their core values and live them every day; great companies treat their employees with respect; and great companies operate in a collaborative way and truly believe in win/win outcomes.  Further I believe that the road to both success and happiness is through passion and ultimately higher purpose and that higher purpose can live within the profit motive. 

If you are interested in "Delivering Happiness", you can read the first chapter here and you can buy it from Chapters or Amazon or your local bookstore, or borrow it from your local library. I hope it makes you happy too.