In late December, someone tweeted a question to their followers asking if there was one thing that they had done in 2011 that they would recommend as beneficial to others. I immediately knew what the answer was for me – going ‘into silence’. I didn’t write about it then, but the topic of taking time to reflect has come up a few times this week. One of my friends referred to needing a ‘brain cleanse’, which is a great phrase. So for him, and anyone who might read this, here is my take on what I did, and why I think it would help you.
We are in a very connected world – connected to our devices and through them to work, friends, and family. We are in a very ‘distraction ready’ world with TV channels, movies, and video games; not to mention email, text messages, and the internet. While there is nothing wrong with any of this (I have a Twitter addiction), what is wrong is being so connected to others that you lose sight of what you want out of your life. Being alone and silent (not talking to anyone), and disconnecting completely for a period of time can allow you to relax and reflect. It allows you to tune into your thoughts and discover what you really want. In other words, literally hear yourself.
Why? Because of connectedness, distractions and the choices we make around those, we tend to lose sight of why we do things. Many times we get caught up in living a life script of someone else’s making (‘you should …’), or we are striving towards goals that we have set because we think we should (better job, more money, etc.), or just goals that we set during another time in life that no longer fit us. Through our busyness we often lose sight of how awesome our lives are, and we focus on what we don’t have.
Because I am extremely comfortable being alone and silent, and I force myself to ignore the internet for hours, I needed a lot more time than people would if they never disconnect. I did 36 hours but if you are too busy for that; don’t worry. Take three or four hours, or half a day, or a day.
What to do is easy. Find a place where you are comfortable but without distraction. If you choose to stay at home (as I did) shut down the computer, turn off your phones, and hide the smart phone. Do not turn on the TV, radio, or music. Do not distract yourself by cleaning. Don’t nap. Don’t cook or bake. (Obviously if you are doing this for several hours you can sleep and prepare food to eat as needed).
Meditate if you want (I did). Go run or walk if you want (I did) – but leave the ipod off. The purpose of this is to take time to just listen to your thoughts. It takes a while to get past the usual repetitive thoughts, which is why I recommend hours of time. Journal if you are comfortable doing that. If you are doing this for a short time, I recommend not distracting yourself by reading. If you are doing a longer time –reading is fine. If you are going to do this for a long period, let key people know what you are doing so that someone can connect with you if needed. Establish how they would do that.
There are many retreat centers that have programs, or ones that will structure a program for you. I had looked into going to one, but nothing really resonated with me (not to mention I hate taking direction from others), so I created my own. If you’d like a list of places to look – leave a comment and I will provide some ideas. If you are a little lost about what to do, and would like a list of questions that you can ask yourself and journal the answers to – leave a comment and I will write a post with some suggestions.