Business Dreams Consulting

Creating Time

Another new year has arrived and whether you make resolutions or not, you are probably reviewing last year or perhaps looking ahead to 2011 and making plans.  Before you start adding things to your schedule, I think you should consider the importance of creating time.  Time for yourself, time to work on the projects that will change your life, time for your family; in other words, time for whatever is really important to you.  Ensuring that you have adequate time for those things may seem self-evident, but oneof the common themes that I hear in conversation and see on Facebook is that many people feel that they are too busy.  People complain about needing time; they complain about being tired, and then they end up sick because they are so busy that they get run down. It's true - everyone is busy, but I think there is a way to stop that. Like everything else, it starts with getting clear on what you want your life to look like because really, you are in charge of how you spend your time. "How you spend your days adds up to how you spend your life". 

I am going to describe what I did, and while this addresses my 'problem' of saying yes too often; this may work equally well for you when you considering opportunities for yourself or your children that will add to your schedule.  My problem is not unique; I used to say “yes” too often.  Mostly to friends who were asking me to help them with or do … (insert name here), and I ended up with my time being sucked away by many things that I ‘could’ do, but that were not really in line with what I wanted for my life. 

I changed in two phases.  First, I trained myself to say – “I haven’t synced my calendar so I am not sure I know I am free at that time. Can I get back to you?”  Then before I responded, I forced myself to answer a series of questions about the request.  In the past I think the only question I had asked myself was 'am I free at that time', but I had read this quote somewhere “the quality of your life is determined by the questions you ask yourself” (I can’t remember where I read that), and that quote resonated with me.  Last year at this time I wrote down questions that related to my immediate goals and overall vision for my life.  They are on a large post-it note by my computer.  When I am faced with a decision that will use my time, I have four questions that I ask.  If I answer 'yes' to one of the questions, then I can consider saying yes to the opportunity.  It doesn't mean it is a 'yes' - it just means it is worthy of consideration.  If it isn't yes to any of them - I say no. 

Then I moved into phase two where I didn’t need to use the excuse of syncing the calendar.  Two things happened to move me into this phase.  I had read Derek Sivers post "No More Yes. Hell Yeah or No" and I had gotten used to applying the questions.  Now when presented with an opportunity that will use my time; I check my immediate response “hell yeah or no” and mentally run through my questions.  It only takes a moment.  As a result, I have much more free time to do the things I am passionate about, and the things that move me towards my goals and long term vision of my life.  Please note, there are some times when things are not Hell Yeah but they will move me towards my goals so asking the questions remains important.  For example, I might not want to commit to a fitness class once a week (not a Hell Yeah) but if I want to achieve my fitness goal, then I need to make that commitment. 

The next time someone asks you to do something or you are considering signing your child up for another activity ... take a moment and see how it contributes to you life.  "There is more to life than increasing its speed"  (Gandhi)

Transformation Versus Change

"It's important to note that there is a difference between change and transformation. Where change is temporary; transformation is a significant and lasting change. It is change that doesn't allow you to go back to where you were before. We want to transform - not change." Shawn Phillips from Strength for Life

 

I think that is one of the most important statements that I have ever read.  I don't want change; I want transformation!  I want things to be different ... permanently.  Note that I really don't think there is anything wrong with my life - I just want permanent change in some areas of my life.  Perhaps it is the same for you.  You might want to transform something about your life or your business.  Using the word transform is significant for many reasons - here are two of them. 

 

First, if I say I want to change - my brain registers that as something I can do quite quickly.  After all - I use that word a lot.  I am going to change my clothes.  I am going to change the sheets.  I am going to change the toner in the printer.  Change - that's something quick ... right?  And I contrast that with how seldom I use the word transform.  I can't really think of when I would use that word.  Which is why I react to it differently, and on that deep down level - I know that transformation will take time.  And that is extremely important.  Because to be honest - almost anything that we want to do is going to take time.  If it were something quick - you would already have done it! 

 

Using the word transformation feels different.  Change is a day trip.  Transformation - that's a journey.  I am going to transform my health.  I am going to transform my finances.  I am going to transform my career.  I am going to transform my business.  Wow - none of those things will happen overnight - I need to be prepared for a journey if I want to do any of those. 

 

Knowing that transformation is a journey forces me to accept the need for focus.  And that's one of the other significant reasons that I like the word transformation - it implies the need for focus.  Focus is essential if you are going to create transformation.  That seems self-evident when I use the word transformation; doesn't it?  Does that word feel different to you?  Does it imply the need for sustained action (the need to maintain a focus)?   If I am going to transform my health; then I need to maintain a focus on changing my diet.  And maintain a focus on exercise.  Until my health is transformed and I have lasting new behaviours that support me; I need to focus.  If I am going to transform my finances - I need to analyze every aspect of my financial life and then make choices to live differently daily. 

 

Whatever you want to transform - your health, your wealth, your happiness, your business, your relationship ... you will need to focus on taking the daily actions that will take you towards that transformation.  You will need to look at every aspect of your health/wealth/happiness/relationship/business and see what you can do differently.  And then do it, do it, do it.  Just do it but not just once ... daily!

 

And that's the final thought - transformation implies the need to live differently daily (to take action daily) and to constantly evaluate how you can do that!  

Forget Habits! Instead Focus On ...

Forget creating good habits or getting rid of bad habits!  Instead focus on creating rituals that will take you where you want to go! 

Having written about habits last night, today I was reading the Philosophers Note on Strength for Life by Shawn Phillips.  Shawn makes several key points including the distinction between habits and rituals.  He says "People tend to talk in terms of bad habits and good habits, but I prefer to think in terms of rituals and habits.  Think about it.  The difference between rituals and habits is that you choose to do rituals; you have some degree of awareness and intention".  I love that! 

So what rituals do you need to add to your life?  What do you need to do with awareness and intention?  Focusing on that is bound to take your life in new directions!

Focus on the Positive

Change should be positive!  It really should be - because we are trying to create the things we want in our life!  But I think that many of us fall into the trap of creating change in our lives by focusing on what is wrong.  We try to create change from a place of negative focus.  "I want to lose weight" or "I need to stop spending money".  I think it is more effective to create change from a positive focus.  "I enjoy creating physical health".  "I am building a solid financial foundation".  To me - those could represent the same two end goals but they are phrased more positively.  I don't know about you but I would rather focus on building a solid financial foundation instead of 'giving up' spending money.  I'd rather focus on creating health than I would on dieting. 

Let's take that positive focus to habits.  We often think of our habits as 'bad' (anyone else get a song in their head when I talk about bad habits?).  But we all have many good habits that serve us well.  For example, most of us brush our teeth regularly without thinking of it as a good habit.  But it is.  As you focus on creating change, decide what habits you want to build that will support your goals and forget about your so-called bad habits.  If your goal is to create physical health, don't focus on giving up eating in front of the TV or giving up fried foods.  Focus on building an exercise habit.  If that sounds stupid to you - trust me, exercise can become a habit.  I know many people (and yes I am one of them) that just automatically add activity to the majority of their days.  We do it because that is what we do; not because we 'should'.  What actions do you want to become automatic?  Do you want to train yourself to eat vegetables?  I did that.  I truly was never a fan of vegetables.  I knew that I needed to eat more of them and several years ago, I made a commitment to choosing more vegetables.  And now - it really is habit.  I eat a lot of salads and veggies and dip.  And I actually crave vegetables.  Weird, but true.  If you create the habit of eating lots of vegetables - particularly raw ones - you will probably end up eating less of your bad habit foods.  Veggies take time to eat and they are filling!  By focusing on adding something to your life, you create positive feelings about change and don't feel as deprived. 

So think about what habits you need to add to your life.  Don't worry about what you need to drop - just focus on the positive.  If you don't know what habit to add - check in with someone who seems to have created what you want to create.   If you know someone who lost a lot of weight and you would like to lose weight - ask them about their habits.  If you know someone who was struggling financially and now is not - ask them what they did.  Most of our goals will take a while to achieve.  When we automatically take the actions that will help us achieve the goals - when we have the supportive habits - then reaching the goal will be easier.

Here's your actions from this post.  First, look at your goals and ensure that they are built from a positive focus.  If they aren't - change them.  Second, think about what habits you need to add to your life that will help you achieve those goals and commit to creating those habits.  Sound positive?  Good!

Picture You ...

Creating change by achieving your goals takes time!  Often a long time!  I think weight loss is the easiest way to relate to this.  If it took you five years to gain 50 pounds then you aren't going to lose the 50 pounds in a week.  In a year - maybe.  But a year is a long time to keep focusing, so what often happens is that we lose focus and give up on achieving our goals.  And that applies to all goals - weight loss, fitness, creating financial health - whatever your goal, it will take time to achieve it.  Directing your energy to taking daily action requires retraining - retraining yourself to remember who you are not who you were.  Or who you are becoming if that makes more sense.  So how do you retrain yourself?  

There are many steps and stages and strategies for that.  This blog entry is about one of those ways and it is literally about the importance of visual reminders - pictures and words.  There is evidence that our mind reacts to pictures in a way that we are just starting to understand.  Experts recommend using pictures to help you train your mind and assist you in achieving your goals.  The most often recommended way of using pictures is through vision boards.  Many successful people use vision boards and highly recommend their use.  If you have never heard of a vision board - this is one description.  As it says - the vision board is a representation of your goals in pictures.  There are suggestions on that site on how to make a vision board but there are no real rules.  Personally, I have had vision boards that are display boards - the type that stands up when you open it out.  About 36" high and about 48" wide.  Those are great because you can open them up and focus on your goals a couple of times a day  I have also used binders when I wanted my vision board to be portable.  Currently I am using Post-It Notes (you can buy large ones about 25" x 30").  I find they are great because I can move them from room to room and I end up 'seeing' them again.  All my vision boards - whatever format - have been (are) filled with images that represent my goals.  They are fun to look at!  (A very practical note - scrap-booking supplies are an awesome source of images for your vision boards, and the little double sided tape photo squares that are sold with scrap-booking supplies are perfect for attaching things to your board, binder sheets, or Post-Its).  

Since the movie The Secret - there are a ton of websites where you can make your vision board online.  Or you can buy kits to make them.  In addition to my Post-Its, I am using the Tut website.  Tut Adventurers Club is Mike Dooley's creation (he was in The Secret).  Once I created my vision board on that site - I saved it as a picture and made it my desktop wallpaper.  That vision board is great because I see it every time I sit down at my computer.  It has all my goals represented and it incorporates my theme words.  I also have three big Post-it Note vision boards - one for each of my goals based on the theme word that I chose to represent that goal.  They are currently on my bedroom wall and I see them when I am in bed and when I leave the room.  Great reminders!

There is one other thing I am in the process of doing that also uses Post-It Notes.  These ones are 8" x 6" and are brightly coloured.  I am going to use them for my theme words and place them where I can see them often - to remind me of my themes for the year. 

Have some fun - set aside an afternoon and make a vision board.  Make the picture of where you are going!  The picture of the new you!

Three Words That Sum Up What Works

"Consistency Versus Intensity"

Those three words sum up what will work for you in achieving your goals, changing your life, and creating success.  Doesn't matter how you put it - whether you are a goal setter or not - those three words sum up what works.  Many people think intense action will work but generally, it isn't as effective as consistent action. 

I found that great phrase today because Chris Brogan posted a link to a great video which was made by Box of Crayons.  I started reading their blog and found a link to another blog - that of Brian Johnson. He has made a great video about how he intends to ensure that he reaches his goals this year.  

I wanted to share the following from him because I think this sums up the keys to creating change:  

1.  Set stretch goals - these are goals that are outside of your comfort zone but not so big that they put you into panic zone.  The panic zone is entered when you set ridiculous goals that are not realistically achievable.  Remember that the ridiculous goal can be a dream but your actual goal needs to be S.M.A.R.T. 

2.  The panic zone is also entered when you get too attached to outcomes.  When you get too attached to outcomes, you get discouraged easily.  A simple example that explains what is meant by being attached to outcome - weight loss.  If you set a weight loss goal, you usually start by eating better and by exercising more.  Your 'outcome' is measured by the number on the scale.  But many people forget about such factors as: muscle weighs more than fat, their own metabolism, their body set point, etc. and when the scale doesn't move fast enough; they get discouraged and give up.  So, instead of outcomes focus on ...

3.  Processes, rituals, habits, actions - these are key.  What are the things that are in your control that you will focus on doing daily (or weekly) that will move you towards your goal?  In the weight loss goal example - don't focus on the number on the scale - focus on changing your habits.  Instead of eating in front of the TV at night substitute a new habit of riding the exercise bike while watching TV.  Measure success by the number of nights that you do that.  Which leads to the final point ...

4.  Consistency over intensity- at this time of year people focus on resolutions, goals, and change.  They often set intense, ambitious goals and then crash within a few days.  They do a two hour workout when they haven't worked out in two years and they get stiff, sore or injured and they give up.  Instead of intense action a few times - take action diligently, persistently, patiently, and playfully.  Do what is in your control each and every day; and I promise you, change will happen!

In other words - keep your focus where it needs to be - on what YOU need to do.  It doesn't matter what your goal is - what you want to change - consistency over intensity will make it happen!